So ~ Do I really need a lawyer?
It's OK ~ a 50/50 Shared Parenting Agreement is fair, right?
To whom? You or the child? Parents want equal parenting time with the kids. Well, there is one way to make that happen- stay married. But you can't stay married, so who pays the price for this new family constellation?
Remember middle school? Would that have worked then? Would you have wanted to spend 5 days at dad's and 2 days at mom's followed by 2 days at dad's and 5 days at mom's? How do you keep that straight when you are 10 or 11? Would you be able to tell friends if you could get together or would you have to check with the other parent?
Remember high school: What if your friends wanted to go out on Saturday and your mom says fine, but it turns out that's dad's day?
Should you discuss this with an attorney before you agree? Once it's done, it's done. It is very difficult and expensive to try to alter one of these orders in the future.
Balancing the "rights" between parents and children.
There are monetary aspects to ending your marriage and there are the issues of the new lives for your children. They had not planned on having their parents divorce, after all. It is easy to become so exhausted dealing with issues of money and things and retirement income that taking care of the children's needs naturally seems to want to fall into the same 50/50 split. As P. J. O'Rourke observes somewhat angrily, "Children must be considered in a divorce ~ considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue." They become levers for one parent to use against the other. Fighting about these issues is emotionally and financially draining. It is understandable that you want to end the war and simply agree. So you agree to every other week or what they call a 5-2-2-5 agreement mentioned above. When the children are young, this is probably best for them. But as children age and begin to separate from both of you and begin their own increasingly independent lives as teenagers, this becomes more difficult. These "equal" agreements are probably not what is in the children's best interests in the long run. It is age dependent, but understand that it is very hard (and expensive) to try to change this after you have agreed to it.
What is Post- Decree Child Custody?
After there has been a divorce, dissolution, or child custody case determined, any later court orders are called “Post-Decree.” Because the state legislature intended for child custody issues to be determined once and for all in most cases, reopening a case is a very technical legal process. There are specific things which must be alleged and proven before the court even has the authority to change things. It is very difficult to do unless the other parent agrees to it and you would be best served by using an attorney. But even better served by discussing all of the issues outlined here before you agree to terminating your marriage because it doesn't matter how you ended up with a child custody order; they are all difficult to alter without both parents' agreement.
What is a Dissolution?
A Dissolution is a way to terminate a marriage that divides up the property and debt fairly and by agreement. It also addresses issues of child custody and child support. While the parties must agree to everything, the court still must be certain that what is agreed to is fair to the husband and wife and in the best interests of the children. And again, it is very difficult to alter the terms of child custody.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a process that involves the parties and a neutral person, frequently with some type of advanced degree, and always with some specialized training, who sits down with the parties and tries to form an agreement between them. It can be used in law suits, custody matters, CSB cases in Summit County, and Divorces to resolve many or all outstanding issues. Mediators can be hired by the parties or appointed by the courts. They are not licensed in Ohio but if a Court uses a Mediator in a family law matter, that person will have a number of hours of specific training in family dynamics and violence issues; however, nothing precludes parties from hiring an outside mediator in an effort to draw up an agreement for some or all outstanding issues.
What are Prenuptial Agreements?
People who are going to get married can agree before they get married about what to do in the event that they divorce. These agreements can be as simple as claiming property which each person will retain in a divorce or as complicated as necessary to address all potential future issues concerning income, gifts, inheritances, children, and the religion the children will be raised in. So long as each party was honest and open and made an intelligent, informed choice, these agreements will be used by the courts to finalize a divorce or dissolution.
What are Co-habitation Agreements?
In Ohio, contracts are very powerful things. People who want to live together but don't want to get married or aren't sharing an intimate relationship can execute a co-habitation agreement which is similar to a prenuptial agreement. It will address property and liability issues when they stop living together in the event that they can't agree. For instance, if two college students decide to share an apartment lease, these can make separating property much easier if the friendship turns sour. In the event that one party is disabled or killed in an accident, these can also protect the survivor's property from the other's next of kin.
I got served with a Civil Protection Order. Do I really need to go to court?
Whenever you are requested to go to any court to answer any lawsuit, you are extremely foolish to disregard the summons. If you choose not to go, you lose; it's that simple. Sometimes, even when people attend court on a request for a Civil Protection Order (CPO), they are not certain of the consequences when they are asked "Are you going to stay away?" Answering "Sure" can be an agreement to have the CPO put in place. If it is, then contact is illegal and repeated contact can be a felony. Furthermore, it disqualifies you from owning or possessing any firearm from that time forward. This is particular worrisome for people who are in law enforcement or the military and should be taken into consideration by the person requesting the order. It can result in the person losing his or her employment.
To whom? You or the child? Parents want equal parenting time with the kids. Well, there is one way to make that happen- stay married. But you can't stay married, so who pays the price for this new family constellation?
Remember middle school? Would that have worked then? Would you have wanted to spend 5 days at dad's and 2 days at mom's followed by 2 days at dad's and 5 days at mom's? How do you keep that straight when you are 10 or 11? Would you be able to tell friends if you could get together or would you have to check with the other parent?
Remember high school: What if your friends wanted to go out on Saturday and your mom says fine, but it turns out that's dad's day?
Should you discuss this with an attorney before you agree? Once it's done, it's done. It is very difficult and expensive to try to alter one of these orders in the future.
Balancing the "rights" between parents and children.
There are monetary aspects to ending your marriage and there are the issues of the new lives for your children. They had not planned on having their parents divorce, after all. It is easy to become so exhausted dealing with issues of money and things and retirement income that taking care of the children's needs naturally seems to want to fall into the same 50/50 split. As P. J. O'Rourke observes somewhat angrily, "Children must be considered in a divorce ~ considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue." They become levers for one parent to use against the other. Fighting about these issues is emotionally and financially draining. It is understandable that you want to end the war and simply agree. So you agree to every other week or what they call a 5-2-2-5 agreement mentioned above. When the children are young, this is probably best for them. But as children age and begin to separate from both of you and begin their own increasingly independent lives as teenagers, this becomes more difficult. These "equal" agreements are probably not what is in the children's best interests in the long run. It is age dependent, but understand that it is very hard (and expensive) to try to change this after you have agreed to it.
What is Post- Decree Child Custody?
After there has been a divorce, dissolution, or child custody case determined, any later court orders are called “Post-Decree.” Because the state legislature intended for child custody issues to be determined once and for all in most cases, reopening a case is a very technical legal process. There are specific things which must be alleged and proven before the court even has the authority to change things. It is very difficult to do unless the other parent agrees to it and you would be best served by using an attorney. But even better served by discussing all of the issues outlined here before you agree to terminating your marriage because it doesn't matter how you ended up with a child custody order; they are all difficult to alter without both parents' agreement.
What is a Dissolution?
A Dissolution is a way to terminate a marriage that divides up the property and debt fairly and by agreement. It also addresses issues of child custody and child support. While the parties must agree to everything, the court still must be certain that what is agreed to is fair to the husband and wife and in the best interests of the children. And again, it is very difficult to alter the terms of child custody.
What is Mediation?
Mediation is a process that involves the parties and a neutral person, frequently with some type of advanced degree, and always with some specialized training, who sits down with the parties and tries to form an agreement between them. It can be used in law suits, custody matters, CSB cases in Summit County, and Divorces to resolve many or all outstanding issues. Mediators can be hired by the parties or appointed by the courts. They are not licensed in Ohio but if a Court uses a Mediator in a family law matter, that person will have a number of hours of specific training in family dynamics and violence issues; however, nothing precludes parties from hiring an outside mediator in an effort to draw up an agreement for some or all outstanding issues.
What are Prenuptial Agreements?
People who are going to get married can agree before they get married about what to do in the event that they divorce. These agreements can be as simple as claiming property which each person will retain in a divorce or as complicated as necessary to address all potential future issues concerning income, gifts, inheritances, children, and the religion the children will be raised in. So long as each party was honest and open and made an intelligent, informed choice, these agreements will be used by the courts to finalize a divorce or dissolution.
What are Co-habitation Agreements?
In Ohio, contracts are very powerful things. People who want to live together but don't want to get married or aren't sharing an intimate relationship can execute a co-habitation agreement which is similar to a prenuptial agreement. It will address property and liability issues when they stop living together in the event that they can't agree. For instance, if two college students decide to share an apartment lease, these can make separating property much easier if the friendship turns sour. In the event that one party is disabled or killed in an accident, these can also protect the survivor's property from the other's next of kin.
I got served with a Civil Protection Order. Do I really need to go to court?
Whenever you are requested to go to any court to answer any lawsuit, you are extremely foolish to disregard the summons. If you choose not to go, you lose; it's that simple. Sometimes, even when people attend court on a request for a Civil Protection Order (CPO), they are not certain of the consequences when they are asked "Are you going to stay away?" Answering "Sure" can be an agreement to have the CPO put in place. If it is, then contact is illegal and repeated contact can be a felony. Furthermore, it disqualifies you from owning or possessing any firearm from that time forward. This is particular worrisome for people who are in law enforcement or the military and should be taken into consideration by the person requesting the order. It can result in the person losing his or her employment.
“There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart." ~ C. JoyBell C.